The Slings And Arrows Of Outrageous Fortune
by The Voice in the Wilderness
Summary: A Valentine's Day gift fic at the behest of a friend who suggested it star Kaede and Totosai. Sometimes it was a good thing to be a plaything of the gods.


_All "InuYasha" characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and associated copyright holders. No money is being made from this fan fiction. No infringement is intended. Originally written as a Valentine's Day gift for a friend - the bolded themes were the themes for the fic challenge. Totosai and Kaede were the couple suggested, so here they are in their younger days in a feudal fairytale all their own. One of my best works, if I do say so myself.  
_

** Exchange**

Dammit, she had always been short. It wasn't as if the Kami hadn't taken enough away from her, but now they had to keep reminding her that she was short too! Balancing on the thin, creaking branch, the miko Kaede stretched and reached her arm towards the pristine goose-feather fletching. The arrow had gone completely off target and now the young, coltish priestess was up, in a tree, trying to retrieve the damn thing from where it was stuck in a branch… a long way off the ground.

Her archery skills were getting better, but thanks to the demon that had slaughtered her sister and took out her right eye Kaede's struggle with depth-perception was a constant thorn. It made her grouchy whenever she caught her right shoulder on a door frame. It made her sad whenever she put her fingers through a shoji screen instead of opening it.

Now it made her feel like a complete and utter fool as she stood on a thin branch in a very tall tree, reaching for her damn…STUPID… ARROW! She'd be damned if it was going to get the better of her this time!

Blowing a few stray hairs out of her face and twisting just a little more on the ball of her tabi-clad foot, the young woman lunged at the back of the arrow, grabbed it, lost her balance and fell. Kaede was too surprised to even scream.

But she did groan and the thing which softened her unexpected landing groaned too.

She'd landed on someone…or something and not only had she landed on them or it, but she had also impaled their left shoulder with the business end of her razor-sharp arrow head.

Could this day possibly get any worse? Oh wait… yes, it could. She'd fallen on a demon, whose face was planted unexpectedly in her chest. All Kaede could see was the pointed tips of its ears and a large mass of dark hair, pulled into a high tail. Collecting herself was the first priority of a miko when faced with the unexpected. Kaede took a large, deep and hopefully calming breath and exhaled suddenly when she remembered the male face most likely getting a red eye-full of her untouched bosom! The deep humming laugh she felt tickle her breasts through her kosode rather than heard only served to confirm her rather hentai first suspicions of this wayward character beneath her!

Pulling herself off the bowled-over demon she'd used as a moderately soft landing and impromptu arrow-stop, Kaede narrowed her remaining eye and attempted to look fearsome. She was a miko, dammit – a new one, but one just the same! This demon better just give her back her arrow and stay out of her way, preferably forever!

Totosai, in a thoroughly opposite way, had been having a very good day. It was warm enough to travel away from his forge without freezing his ass off and he had yet to hear of any of his apprentice's abominations. Kaijinbo had been gone quite sometime, but sometimes the whelp did that and so long as he eventually came back, the sword smith was a happy camper, indeed. There was no need to worry about anything. Such a fine spring morning for a walk!

And then it started raining mikos.

Or rather miko.

Or rather Kaede.

The fact that the young woman was quite pretty, albeit in a severe and strangely off kilter way, more than made up for the slight discomfort her broad-headed arrow was causing his left shoulder. Totosai absently scratched the side of his rakish, thin face and wondered if he played the pity card, would she shove her boobs back into his face in feminine concern? It was definitely worth a try!

The demon made quite a show of sitting up and favoring its right arm. Surprisingly un-red eyes in a thin, rawboned face blinked up at her in feigned suffering. Reaching up to gingerly finger the thick wooden shaft in his shoulder, Totosai felt he was putting on a pretty good show, if he did say so himself… that was until he bent his left arm up, pulled the arrow shaft out a couple of inches without the slightest flinch so the point no longer kept hitting the tree he was resting against.

"That's better." He mumbled to himself with a lopsided and completely shit-eating grin.

Remembering his charade…finally, the demon blacksmith let his face fall into the mask of total earthly suffering. He even added a wounded sigh for good measure.

The miko, she wasn't buying it. Arms cross over those lovely, creamy breasts, the girl persisted in glowering at him in a strangely lop-sided way that he just couldn't put a claw on. There was something different about this pretty little thing; what was it?

"Owww…miko, see what your fall from the heavens has done to me! Have you no pity on a poor demon simply out for a walk?" he hammed it up, one eye cracked in Kaede's direction, gauging her response and possible gullibility.

"Simple is right." Kaede snorted and mumbled to herself as she uncrossed her arms and leaned on her bow. The demon looked harmless enough – he was actually kinda cute in an idiotic, sweet way. Willowy, though – she figured he was going to look like a piece of jerky in another 50 years or so. Yeah, right – and she was gonna be short and fat. That wasn't happening! Why was she even considering it? The fall must have rattled her brains!

"Owww…ouch…ouch…oh, it stings… oww… oww!"

"Stop it. I know you're unhurt, demon. I have a bargain to drive with you. Will you hear it?" Kaede looked down her small nose at the dramatic scene before her and waited for the fool to wrap it up.

Totosai knew she wasn't buying it. He sat up, opened his big green eyes very wide and tried to appear like he was listening, which he very nearly was. The young miko's long brown hair had begun to sneak out from under the silk tie that bound it and strands of it waved at him in the wind, inviting like the subtle curves of steel… like pretty little knives…

"Eh?"

"I said I will pull out the arrow in your shoulder and put a poultice on it that will keep down pain and infection. In exchange, you will leave this forest and never come back. Understood?"

"Pull out the arrow? Oh, all right." quoth Totosai and withdrew the arrow like it was less than nothing and smiled up at the very cute miko now bugging her eyes out at him in irritation… no wait…

"Oh! I see now! You only have one eye, pretty though it might be, little miko. Would you like me to sharpen this broadhead for you?" he kindly asked without a hint of guile.

Kami help me! Kaede mused and hated the small niggling thought that found this demon's wide-eyed almost innocent eyes really, really cute.

"Uh, sure."

**Red and White**

Kaede sat as far away and as close as she could to the humming demon as he folded his long body into a happy pretzel and went to work on her arrow. Suddenly a whetstone thumped heavily on the grass at the demon metal smith's long narrow feet and he appeared to be having some sort of epileptic fit.

Hands patting himself down in all directions, Totosai couldn't find it! Where was it – he was going to look like a real idiot in front of this pretty little miko! Thin face white in panic, Totosai continued to search his person for a very important item. His professional reputation was on the line here – what if this girl told every demon she met about the inability of the great Totosai, sword maker to the Kami themselves to sharpen even a small arrowhead!

Had the fool pursued that train of thought even a little ways out of the station, he needn't have worried. Any demons she did tell of his inadequacies would have soon become purified ash, dull arrow or not. Problem solved. But alas – this is Totosai we're talking about; most demons thought he was the most talented, gifted and airheaded craftsman to walk the land of Japan and he was never the wiser.

Left eyebrow quirked in disbelief, Kaede wondered what sort of demon she'd fallen into.

As she curiously watched and strove desperately for professional detachment, the young miko noticed something about the tall demon: tanned taunt skin flashed at her here and there while Totosai hunted around in his kimono. The idiot was unwittingly flashing her his body in his single-minded search and the miko within her drew back in fury – was the idiot trying to plunder her purity? The seventeen-year old girl within her rushed forward with hungry eyes and wondered – was the idiot not aware of how good those brief glimpses of muscular male anatomy looked? Shaking her head in irritation, the young miko's cheeks flared a bright red and then took the express train to downright crimson when Totosai finally pushed the right side of his kimono down to his elbow and bared his wide chest to her rapidly blinking eye.

She started to breathe again once he found what he was looking for and redressed himself. Kaede hoped in those brief few moments that her mind was out and not taking messages that she hadn't been noticed ogling the lanky demon before her.

She wasn't worried about Totosai; she knew he hadn't noticed, the big idiot. She was more concerned about any villagers who might be in the area and buckled her little screaming hentai tight within the recesses of her mind, determined not to let her control slip again. She was a miko, not some drunk, horny tavern wench looking to worm her hands into that green and black kimono and run fingertips over the fine looking flesh below… Stop it, stop it stop it!

Totosai smirked when he cocked an eye at the closely-wrapped and oh-so-formal figure of the girl before him. He'd felt the vial he was searching for bump out of its interior pocket within his clothes and following the ties around his waist with one hand, the blacksmith, looking to share his ultimate triumph with the nearest creature, had caught the young Keade nearly drooling over the sight of him. She never even blinked when he turned around, hand still shoved in his clothes and made sure it was him she was looking at. Maybe she wasn't such a cold fish after all…

Totosai grinned when she began to frown and shake her head. Even he knew you couldn't dislodge certain thoughts once the mold was cast. He knew he wasn't really much to look at, but if it got the girl into his arms for some quality face-in-boobs time, well then he'd be happy to play the stud card. But first, to the business at hand; the demon blacksmith was as partial to cute, little females as most young men but his first love would always be steel, iron and fire.

"I found it! I knew I had gotten some last time of I was at the sea – whale oil is the best lubricant for the sharpening stone. These points will be sharp enough to pierce even the toughest turtle yokai's shell." Totosai happily nattered on to no one in particular.

He couldn't have planned it better if he'd tried. Kaede's mouth went slack as she watched the demon before her strip to the waist, lean forward and begin slowly, methodically whetting her arrow point. She could see the white twisted silk of a fundoshi that peeked out rhythmically as the smith bent forward and drew back, his short attention span incredibly focused upon his work. Was there no part of this demon's body that was not tanned by the sun? Compared to the whiteness of her own chest, this creature's body was like a foreign delicacy just waiting for her tongue. Especially those massively broad shoulders and those long, muscular arms; Kaede swallowed hard and absently scratched the side of her eyepatch with a glazed look in her eye. As the demon leaned relentlessly foreword and drew back, the image of her naked body taking the place of that very slick and somehow… lucky whetstone flashed into her mind and caused her to choke on the hungry sigh that was threatening to escape her.

Turning away from the vision before her eye, Kaede forced her mind to remember its training and its guilt at even considering lying with the enemy! Bad miko! She was going to march herself straight to the nearest shrine waterfall and purify herself within an inch of her life! Feeling a small tugging on her shoulder, Kaede whipped her herself back around, ready to brandish her bow like a cudgel.

The point of the damn thing very nearly made Totosai a Cyclops himself as he froze in the awkward position of being on his knees with a hand in the girl's quiver, which once she turned back around meant that his bare chest was pulled hard into her face.

Before she could stop herself, Kaede slipped her tongue out and tasted the demon's tan skin. Then she remembered herself and screamed.

**Question**

"What do you think you're doing!"

"Give me the rest of your arrows, miko."

"Not on your life, demon!"

"Just give them to me, will you? OW! Why are you hitting me, girl? OW!"

The ox-horn tip of Kaede's bow wedged itself into Totosai's high ponytail and it stuck fast around the waxed bowstring as she pummeled him with her weapon at very close range in righteous, indignant fury.

Why was she hitting him? He was only trying to sharpen the rest of her arrows; why waste good whale oil and warm daylight? Totosai's mind flailed around in his thick skull, desperately trying to put two and two together into four and only coming up with three.

He found it very hard to concentrate with the point of the miko's bow lodged in his hair tie! It really, really hurt!

Kaede knew she was losing a battle here, somehow, but whether it was against the demon before her or against herself, she didn't know and didn't want to know. She wanted to beat the beast off of her before she could embarrass herself any further. Reaching her bow-wielding arm back for an exasperated attempt at dislodging her weapon, two things happened very nearly at once. As Kaede pulled back her arm with as much force as she could muster in her awkward kneeling and bent position, the force on the end of her bow disappeared suddenly as Totosai let his mass of now-tangled dark hair down out of its tail.

When the opposing force disappeared, Kaede's momentum toppled her back hard onto into the grass. Totsai, his hand jammed down in her quiver, tangled under its strap and around the bow, followed the trajectory of his tangled hair and fell on top of the wide-eyed bundle of shock that was the girl Kaede.

Crickets could be heard chirping in a nearby clearing. The insects enjoyed their solo as the pile of miko and demon lay very, very still.

"Miko – why are you rubbing my chest?"

"Why are you licking my ear?!" a shaky whisper shot back.

"It feels pretty good."

A desperate, almost pouting moan drifted up in answer. The crickets developed a sweeping romantic theme in the nervous silence that followed and were quite proud of themselves.

"I am Totosai."

"I am Kaede."

The crickets then felt obliged to fill the next few silent moments with a variation on the theme of a warm summer day – in G major, _allegro con brio_.

Totosai shifted his weight a bit as to not crush the young woman under him, but he didn't really move much. He didn't really want to go anywhere at all so long as the miko kept fondling his body. Feeling small sweaty hands on his chest, the demon metal smith couldn't decide if the girl was trying to throw him off her or draw him down against her. But she smelled wonderful, like wet dirt and herbs and that was just fine.

"You smell nice."

He was pretty sure the answering breathless squeak could be translated into "You taste good".

**Tease and Tickle**

The crickets took a collective bow and broke for what they felt was a well-deserved intermission. The sudden, overwhelming silence made Kaede notice that the demon Totosai was breathing hard – right in her ear. She also noticed in shocked detachment that his breath was very hot, almost too hot and that his moustache kept getting in her ear. Squirming under the demon in the unconscious need for escape before it was too late, the young miko wedged herself tighter against her oafish nemesis.

"You should have said something, girl." Totosai rasped out in her ear with a smile before coming up on his hands and knees, to allow the heaving, flustered Kaede to scurry out from under him. The broad demon sat back on his haunches and mulled over the rapidly solidifying agenda both his body and his mind had decided upon: how to get the girl separated from the miko and then how to separate the girl from her clothes. It was brain-fodder for the sages, of whose ranks Totosai had never even come close to joining.

Stroking one of the long tails of his moustache, the demon sword smith slowly became both bemused and cross-eyed as he thought harder than he had in decades.

Kaede smelled smoke coming from somewhere and wondered if it was wafting from between the demon's pointed ears. What could he possibly be thinking about so hard? No matter, it was time to dust herself off, catch her breath, banish her teenage hormones back to their oubliette of miko responsibility and get back to the village and her life.

Slowly getting to her feet, the miko Kaede picked a small stick out of her long dark pony-tail and brushed off her white kosode. Totosai still stared into space like the world's dumbest Buddha, pondering something of obvious and great interest. After a moment's hesitation, the young miko slowly walked up to the kneeling demon, reached out a small white hand and gently tried to untangle her bowstring from where it remained stuck fast in Totosai's long dark hair.

For a demon, this Totosai was the least threatening male she'd ever encountered. For as large a man as he appeared to be, this demon seemed to have the soul of a clown. He had no apparent guile – that somehow cute and impishly long face shared his every inner thought with anyone who looked at him!

'Poor guy, it's a good thing he's so stupid – ignorance truly was bliss', she thought as Keade's mind wandered along with her nimble fingers as they tried to tease the large knot that had conjoined Totosai's scalp to her bow. Looking down at the dark, bowed head that reached her waist, the girl lost herself in her contemplation, falling harder and harder for the bemused demon at her feet. They had absolutely nothing in common and therefore were absolutely perfect for one another. In their case, love appeared to be likened to hitting yourself in the head with a gold brick, wrapped in Happy-Fun candy. Either that, or maybe it was more like running into a thick oak door. In the end, you know you are going to feel stupid and hurt like hell and have no one to blame but yourself. Love is a pain in the ass, but alas – in the best possible way.

Of course, in another 40 years or so, they'd both have one large, loudmouthed, ill-tempered pain in the ass to deal with. Had they but known what the future held, both the girl and the demon would have made exceptional haste to the family home of one Izayoi and strangled her in her sleep. Oh well.

Untold moments passed. Kaede stared off into a dreamy, contemplative fog – her good eye half-mast as she lost herself in stroking the now-smooth hair of the still demon at her feet. Totosai's hair was thick and wiry, dark and shiny.

And heavy…

And gorgeous…

Running her fingers through the thick strands, Kaede found herself pulling her fingers farther and farther through the length of hair in her captivity, almost down to the ends which brushed the top of the blacksmith's broad, tan back. His skin disappeared within the confines of that hideous green and black kimono and it teased her mind to follow its muscled, well-formed contours, first with her fingers, then with her lips. It was hypnotic, the rhythm she kept up and probably would have kept up until Mo-Mo came home… that was until Totosai had an epiphany of sorts and ran his nearest clawed hand up Kaede's crimson hakama and tickled the back of her knee.

The very-unladylike epithet that shot from the young miko as she staggered away from him like his hair was on fire made Totosai's eyebrows crawl into his lately molested hair with surprise. He'd racked his brains for all they were worth and while the millstone in his head ground slow, it also ground fine. Totosai had a plan and it would work – and it was a nice day for it.

Grabbing the girl's outstretched arm as she staggered away from him, Totosai pulled her forward with agile suddenness, which put her slightly off balance, angled his foot behind her and tripped Kaede with large, goofy smile.

"Demon Totosai, I am going to purify any part of you that I can get my hands on, you ass!" Kaede screeched in embarrassment and discomfort. She could still feel hot claws tracing the back of her leg and it felt way, way too good! She couldn't – shouldn't feel that good, it was immoral, illegal or both!

"Ok, I guess I deserve that, don't I?" conceded Totosai as he thoughtfully stroked his goatee. It was time to pounce.

"But, miko Kaede - what will your village think if you come back with grass stains on your back?" Totosai blinked his large, concerned green eyes down at the hot and bothered miko – well, mostly just bothered miko.

Kaede's eye narrowed then popped wide in realization… and then just for shits and giggles did a triple half twist down into intense rueful surrender. Dammit all – he had a point! Just because on the inside the girl within her was currently running her tongue up one of Totosai's muscular thighs didn't mean she needed those kinds of rumors flying around! Demons were the downfall of her sister; they were not going to be hers too!

Drawing her small fists up in a veritable tantrum of frustration and unwanted desire, Kaede growled long and hard at the Kami whose fault this was and went limp in acceptance of her fate.

"Come and help me up, you fiend." She sighed in defeat, while the hordes of horny and screaming teenage girls within her did a victory dance.

"Are you going to purify me if I do?"

"No, idiot! But I should after you so rudely tripped me!"

"I did?", Totosai smirked as he bent down to help the grass-stained miko to her sandaled feet.

**Sweet**

"I'm not getting on that thing! You are pushing your luck, demon!" Kaede threatened the tall lanky demon metal smith beside her as she came to the edge of a clearing.

This particular clearing was being used by the crickets, who after a short break decided to go in a different direction entirely and had drifted down into D minor, _largo_.

Mo-Mo the bull had never really been much of a music fan and the complexities of the insects' great harmonies and crescendos were completely lost on him. Contentedly chewing his cud at the shady edge of the sunlit clearing, the three-eyed beast lowed at its master in familiar habit and decided to investigate the stranger who had arrived as well.

"Okay, little miko – you don't have to get on Mo-Mo if you don't want to, but he can take you to a place far from here to wash the grass stains out of your clothes. I suppose what no one from the village sees – then no one from the village knows.", Totosai spoke casually, knowing he had a valid point in there somewhere.

Kaede narrowed her eye at the three-eyed demon bull meandering slowly her way. He looked about as fast and as ugly as homemade soup. Setting her lips in a tight line, the girl spoke to her companion without so much as a glance – because she couldn't see him on that side and because she knew he was right.

"Help me up onto its back and get out of my blind spot, Totosai. I want to keep my eye on you, demon."

"Me too." He happily agreed.

The large herbivore ambled up to them slowly, affecting that lazy, swaying gait that only cows and expectant mothers are capable of and proceeded to stretch his long neck out to sniff the newcomer who had closed her eye in resignation.

Hot snuffles of breath puffed at her face and hair and then she felt a wet nose on her forehead.

The familiar rasping voice altogether too close to her ear for comfort caused her heart to jump and skip at the low, intimate timbre she both felt and heard.

"He's really very sweet, you know." Totosai whispered in the tense girl's ear. She looked like she was ready to bolt any second and Mo-Mo was only saying "hello"! What would she do when he took to the skies?

Reaching a timid hand to the bull's great head, Kaede tentatively touched the animal's reddish hair and then finding him docile, scratched behind one of his ears with a very small smile. What girl doesn't like animals, even weird ones? Totosai wondered if he could get her to scratch behind his ears; his hair was tickling them constantly now that it was down. Oh well – next time he went to bathe, he'd make himself another hair ribbon. Like everything else on Totosai's person, the previous white silk tie had gone missing.

"Let's go Mo-Mo." The demon sword smith patted his friend and primary method of transportation.

The crickets saw it coming and swooped down out of their slow processional into a jaunty C major, _presto con amore_.

Too suddenly Kaede found herself plopped down onto the broad back of the great beast. The large, hot hands around her waist made her tingly in new and interesting places and the girl blushed in flagrant disregard for her years of meditation and self-control training.

Before she could get her wits about her, the young miko felt a very warm body settle behind her. She was just about to throw off the interloping arm that snaked itself around her waist… until the bull took off like a shot into the sky. The instant they were airborne, Kaede plastered herself in sheer terror against Totosai. She never even noticed that he was looking down the front of her kosode with a grin.

**Heart**

Landing just as effortlessly as he had taken off, Mo-Mo shook his great head in the international sign of "Get off my back now". Totosai slid off the bull with the ease of everyday practice and held his hand out to the quivering, pale and very wind-blown miko.

"Miko? Kaede? Hello?"

Slowly blinking away her shock, Kaede looked around at her surroundings. She had no idea where they were but in some instances a river is a river: rocks, water and fish – repeat. The bend in this particular river that they had set down at was surrounded by a multitude of large schist and shale rock slabs and as the rushing water and ages of ice had cut through the rocky substrate, a variety of depressions had formed which filled with water, making many small pools. Some of the largest were as big as a family sized bath tub; other's no larger than a rice pot. It was the perfect place to wash clothes and bodies… except for the awkwardness of her present company; one that was impatient to have her off of him and the other far too eager to have her on him!

The later of the two was waving a clawed hand in front of her face in wide-eyed concern, a broad proud smile on his devilish face.

Kaede wondered at that very moment how this Totosai would look in nothing but that big smile. If she let him sharpen the rest of her arrows, she'd get to see him strip again. No one was here to witness it, so she may as well relax. If the demon was going to kill her or eat her, he would have done it by now. The miko wondered if her demon menace had a serpent's forked tongue – the thrill that little thought send slithering down her spine had nothing to do with fear and it made the newly-formed butterflies in her stomach flap just a little bit harder.

Finally managing to get down off of Mo-Mo, the young miko slowly surveyed her domain. Head turning to scan the rocky pockmarks full of clear water, Kaede found the perfect one, just large enough for her to bend and wash her stained garment. Only she had no soap or a fire by which to heat any of the plentiful water around her. Soap she could conquer; a moment's trek into the encroaching forest brought her a plentiful supply of an herbal saponificant, but the cold water was going to make this a long, painful chore.

Mashing up the trefoil leaves into a paste, the girl settled herself to the task at hand.

Looking around for the demon metal smith and finding him poking around in the various larger pools, paying her no mind at all, Kaede took off her kosode leaving her only in her under kimono. Concentrating on her washing, not her obvious exposure in the thin, translucent silk garment, the miko endeavored to scrub like the wind.

Her heart nearly stopped when she saw a familiar pair of long, tan feet opposite her work.

Looking up in surprise, the girl forgot all about the sight she now presented to her admirer; panting in exertion, chest heaving and wonderfully visible through the very white, very wet silk that made her upper half even more enticing. This girl was lovely!

Totosai puffed out his chest in unconscious pride at his good taste… now, to get her into the water.

"Why are you washing your clothing in cold water?" he curiously asked, a bit befuddled at her actions.

"Where am I going to get a fire out here with no tinder, no spark, and no coals? You amaze me, demon, with your…" About to launch into a frustrated insult that Kaede didn't really feel but wanted to vent anyway, the girl stopped short when the demon before her raised his voice in a stern command.

"Move away from the water!"

Before she could so much as question Totosai's sanity for yelling at her, a jet of flame shot from the blacksmith's pursed lips, basting the surface of the pool in orange flames. Scrambling backwards like a very surprised crab, Kaede was amazed at the power held within this self-effacing demon. No wonder he'd wanted to sharpen her arrows, he must be some sort of demon metal smith. That made this Totosai a powerful demon indeed and made this newly-minted, inexperienced miko Kaede a bit worried. When the demon expelled the last of his fiery breath and wiped the licks of flame from his lips and moustache, the girl before him seemed to be seeing him with a new eye.

"I did not know you could do that." She quietly admitted to the smirking demon before her.

"I didn't know I forgot to mention it. I'm a sword smith to some of the most powerful demons in the land of Japan. You should see my work…" Totosai happily nattered on, glad to be on a friendlier subject and wondering if he could get the wet girl to jump up and down a few times. That would be just perfect!

"Try the water now, it should be warm." He smiled down at her without ego; Totosai appeared just happy to be helpful – yet his big green eyes never quite seemed to meet her eye. Suddenly feeling the cool wet silk plastered against her boobs, the miko bent forward to get on with the task at hand. She wondered if Totosai could flame her kosode dry without setting it on fire - probably not. But his company, she gritted her teeth together in grudging acceptance, was actually almost, sort of, fun. He was so endearingly goofy and sexy at the same time, Kaede had actually forgotten about her bow, which was presumably still in the far-off field they'd left. That was so bad! What if someone stole it? It was her most prized possession! Shit!

The girl appeared to be taking her sudden frustrations out on the laundry and was really splashing herself and him but good, Totosai mused. A sudden stinging itch that unfortunately was all-too familiar began on his lower left shin where a glob of resinous soapy foam had hit him in her exuberance. He wondered for a few seconds if he had the heart to tell her. How diplomatic did he have to be in order to still woo the girl out of her clothes and into his arms for some warm, wet fun? Shrugging to himself, Totosai just figured he ought to find out if maybe this was some new herbalist remedy, after all mikos were supposed to be experts in herbs and their uses, right?

Kneeling down on his long legs, the fire-breathing demon put his hand up to whisper conspiratorially to the girl washing with slightly less fury than a drowning cat. Seeing Totosai had a nervous, curious look on his face, Kaede paused and looked up at him with long-suffering patience. "What is it now?" she hissed.

"Miko Kaede, is there some reason you are washing your clothes with poison ivy?", he whispered to her.

Noticing the white, green-flecked foam on her forearms, her hands, her elbows – even on her chest, the paling girl picked at her soaked under-kimono and looked within. She closed her eye with a miserable groan as her heart dropped into her stomach and started putting up wallpaper and picking out curtains for its stay there.

"No Totosai – there is no reason at all. Can you heat up the water in one of those larger pools – please?" she asked in a resigned voice, beginning to pull her under-kimono out from underneath her red and green-paste splattered hakama.

Kaede just didn't care any more. How could this day get any worse? If the demon before her wanted an eye-full – fine! She needed to wash the toxic plant oils off her skin right now before it got any worse. A small tingling itch was building in her hands and arms and the miko knew it would build into a crescendo of irritated and raw itching before the thing was all over with. If she treated the rash now before it appeared, she just might be able to head it off at the pass! Yes – and it would get Totosai out of her hair for some time too; it was a win-win situation!

The demon smith was riveted to the stone. The girl was starting to strip – finally! After she yelled his name twice and then brained him with a rock twice, Totosai got his eyes and his mind off her nubile form and allowed himself to be led by the wrist to one of the largest rocky pits full of water.

The girl's under clothing hung open in the front and he could see the pale soft skin between her ample white breasts, right down to her rounded soft belly. The miko looked pale, soft and plush and that sounded like heaven to Totosai. When she commanded him, he nearly fell down before her, threw her to the ground and happily complied – poison ivy or not!

"Blow, demon!"

"Wha? Here… now?"

"Yes, blow some fire on this water and heat it up quickly! I have to get this plant's oil off my skin before it settles within and causes the damned rash."

"Oh. Ohhhhh… you had me confused." he winked back and laughed conspiratorially at her impatient one-eyed stare.

A few blisteringly hot moments later the water was steaming and Totosai had a mission which he was quickly convinced to accept when the girl pulled the silk tie out of her hair, shook it out and turned from his achingly hard form to take off her under kimono. Dropping it in a wet pile – well away from where the warm water began, Kaede crossed her arms over her ample chest and gave Totosai some important instructions and more importantly, some heady incentive to keep him from immediately forgetting them.

"Get all that I have described to you and join me back here in the water. I'm going to need you, Totosai."

**Cupid**

He was now a demon with a mission – a very happy, horny demon on a mission! Totosai chanted his scavenger hunt mantra of all the things the little white miko had demanded of him and the faster he found them, the faster he could help her use them. This was easily the most fun the metal smith had ever had that didn't involve his forge – who knew leaving the volcano's throat would dump a now-wet yummy little female in his lap and even better, now she had an itch to scratch. Well, now – that truly was funny! The wheezing rasps of laughter bubbling out of the demon's wide mouth made the peasants below him very, very nervous. After all, this was springtime and the Kami were well-known to be frisky!

"MoMo – I think I see a shed on the outskirts of that village. Can you land?"

The bull lowed in pleasant agreement and headed the way his rider wanted to go.

Totosai had to hand it to these ningen women; they were great fun! The angry woman tending the pickling tubs within the dusty outbuilding he'd waltzed right into with the single minded audacity of the perpetually clueless, had broken a chafe rake over his head. This then got rice hulls down his kimono and made him wiggle and jive until they fell back through his clothing to the debris-strewn floor. Grabbing a small pot of nuka bran and thanking his impromptu hostess, Totosai took the tiniest moment to admire the way the village woman's kimono rode up her tan legs as she waved her rake-stump at him and screamed obscenities; only then did he return to his mission.

A handful of stops and as many broken rakes, shovels, rug beaters and even one rice tub lobbed at him by a very surprised octogenarian later, the demon Totosai was making his well-stocked way back to the girl of his far-from-pure dreams on speedy bovine wings.

The sight of MoMo sailing over tops the varied villages and dwellings made him no friends at all; a multitude of promises, held in surety by a very particular circumstance now had to be fulfilled in order to preserve one's honor. To this day that is why no Japanese person will promise something "when a cow flies over my house." They've gotten burned on that deal before, you see. Moving on –

Kaede sat neck-deep in her slowly steaming pool and stewed, literally and figuratively.

Eye closed in concentration and outright denial, the small miko concentrated on what she knew of curing the itch. She kept coming to the conclusion that sometimes, you just had to scratch – one time only, mind you! – and then get it out of your system.

The poison ivy was the easy part, she sighed.

Snuffling sounds reached her ears as did the clacking of ceramics and the rustle of vegetation. She smelled nuka and yuzu, willow and cucumber. The ambling clickity-clack drag of hooves on stone began its steady fade as MoMo wandered off to amuse himself in the distance. Kaede didn't want to open her eyes yet – opening them meant she had to deal with what was coming and that now-very familiar sharp scent of iron, coated by an overlying musk of whale oil was slowly getting closer. The very naked girl sunk lower in the water and did her best to shield her heart from that Kami with the arrows. Somehow, the miko just knew his aim was going to be far better than her own.

"Kaede?"

Totosai's distinctive voice questioned her with concern, his strong arms brimming with an apothecary treasure trove. Either that or they were going to have a macrobiotic picnic. Kaede mused with sarcasm. Damn Totosai for being so… so…him! The demon before her was so irritatingly cute! Like the plant oil on her skin, he too was really starting to get under skin – and the miko desperately wanted to scratch! Biting her lower lip, she ventured as calm a reply as she dared.

"Put the things you have brought me on the rocks, please." replied the solemn voice below him.

"Okay.", the lanky demon happily agreed and putting down his load, Totosai folded himself into an equally lanky lotus and settled in to watch the Naked Miko Show.

After mixing, cutting, squeezing and nearly ripping the demon smith's eyes out of his head when she forwent the knife in favor of simply taking a big bite out of the highly suggestive cucumber he had brought back, Kaede was ready to get on with the show.

"Totosai."

"Uh-huh? I mean, ah – yes? Do you need help, miko?" the nearly panting demon stuttered in complete pole-axed anticipation. Were his big green eyes crossed? Was she truly having such an effect on this demon? He looked like he was trying his best not to jump on her and devour her alive… only Kaede didn't think eating was what was in the forefront of Totosai's rather questionable mind.

"I need you to warm the water up one more time, please – what are you looking at, demon?" the miko couldn't help herself; those hungry eyes were making her very tingly and nervous.

"Your chest."

"Haven't you seen a woman's body before, you idiot?!" she hissed in embarrassment and threw her arms protectively across her wet breasts – squeezing them together, which then simultaneously emptied the mind and filled the now very cramped hakama of her demon audience. She noted with some satisfaction that Totosai's pointed ears were now crimson; at least she wasn't the only one uncomfortable around here – which only made things between them hotter.

"Seen what?" Totosai mumbled absently and wiped his mouth.

**Skin**

"I can't stay in the water like this if its cold, Totosai. Do you want me to put my clothes back on?" she dead-panned back, ignoring the euphoric demon now orbiting around Plant Hentai somewhere.

The lightening speed Totosai displayed as he scrambled to his knees, took a deep breath and dunked his dark head under the water was only matched by Kaede's extreme aversion to being boiled like an egg, and so, slick as a seal, she scrambled out of the pool just as the blacksmith blew a jet of fire into the dark water. Judging by the temperature of the drops that sprayed from Totosai's soaked head as he shook it out once he came back up for air, Kaede quickly dropped back into the water and submerged.

When she surfaced, the miko began to rub her white, itchy skin with the items she'd requested. Rice bran and yuzu juice helped cleanse the ivy oil off her skin and the cucumber, willow and salt paste helped relieve the swelling and redness Kaede knew was surely to come. Losing herself in her careful treatment, the girl forgot to guard herself from the eyes of her avid companion, who watched the lines of her body and saw the finest, most elegant blades, and knives. _Limber, curved swords that penetrated an enemy's defenses effortlessly. Metal tongues that lapped at skin until they were gratefully sheathed in the warm, dark place that fit them like a finger in its glove…_

Totosai scratched a hidden fleck of chafe that hadn't followed the path to freedom out of his clothes and brought himself painfully back to the present when he accidentally whacked a very tall, very hard part of his anatomy as he sought to resettle himself. The miko had her back to him and was reaching over one shoulder, intent on the greenish-brown goop she was spreading over her flawless white skin.

His nose itched. Totosai scratched it. It ignored him and continued to itch. Then just to goad him into action further, it began to sting. The words "itch" and "sting" wandered around in his uncluttered head and looked for something to latch onto.

It took a moment or two, but Totosai's airy mind eventually did the math, checked its figures and sent out memos to the appropriate places.

I'll bet you never knew this but our friend Totosai is the fastest nuder in the West. He was as bare as Nature had made him in under three and a half seconds, a record that would stand until broken 50-odd years later by one monk with a roving eye and a hand that sucked.

Kaede had one befuddled moment to wonder why the level of warm water had risen around her suddenly before a softly rasping voice begged her:

"Please don't move."

**Fire and Ice**

There wasn't room to move around the girl in order to reach her pile of medicinal goop and as much as Totosai wanted the very wet, naked girl to touch him, touch him anywhere and everywhere right now, he was smart enough not to push her too far, too quickly. Which really only left him one option. Swallowing hard and trying to move as slowly as possible not to spook the heavenly miko in front of him, the demon smith pressed himself close to the girl, closer, closer and then reached his long arm around her to grab a dollop of the curative (he hoped!) vegetable paste.

Kaede felt sudden growing warmth against the sensorium of her skin and once she determined the cause of it, a hot, familiar and very male body was pressing itself into her back. What was that in the small of her back? Oh Kami, was that what she thought it was? It was! Warm butterflies exploded up and down her body and settled in that soft round area below her navel. A hot clawed hand on her hip distracted her enough that its twin managed to snag a good-sized blob before both it and its body removed themselves from her.

"If I turn around, Totosai, what am I going to see?" Kaede nervously asked the innocent air before her.

"An itchy demon rubbing green, grainy gunk on his nose. His cheeks and his neck are next. This is good stuff, miko!" the nervous, almost giddy male voice drifted back to her waiting ears.

The healer in her suddenly over-rode the aroused and nervous girl within as Kaede turned around to face her patient and assess the damage.

The healer was promptly shoved out of the way shamelessly by the hentai teenage girl and told to stay that way if they knew what was good for them!

If she thought the lanky, broad-shouldered demon was delicious when half-naked, Kaede thought he was an absolute god in complete and utter nudity. A dumb-ass, green-nosed wet, dripping, tanned GOD! Mouth hanging open, the stunned red-cheeked miko did the first thing that cam into her stunned mind. She swore.

"Son of a…"

Totosai's large soulful eyes crashed wide at her sudden whispered exclamation and in a flash, found himself on the receiving end of the hottest kiss he'd never been able to quite dream up. The miko had literally jumped on him and in order not to be thrown into the edge of the pool by her momentum the tall demon grabbed two handfuls of ningen ass and held on for dear life.

The only thought that managed to make it through the fog of combined surprise and lust was that the miko's nipples were as cold as ice! But nipples are nipples, who was he to complain? Once they came up for much needed air, Totosai carefully lowered them both back into the warm water with a sigh.

The miko Kaede was breathing hard; she desperately wanted the metal smith to move his hands – up, down, sideways – it didn't matter so long as they were all over her at once!

Totosai was torn between wanting to oblige the squirming meaty little priestess in his lap and continuing to try to keep the ivy rash from spreading. For not the first time, the demon regretted not having at least two more hands. Some guys had all the luck!

Throwing all she was to the winds, Kaede moaned and attacked her demon lover again. Begging entrance to the smith's fanged mouth, the horny miko found she couldn't be upset that the demon beneath her did not, in fact, have a forked tongue. Fisting handfuls of thick dark hair, she pulled Totosai away from her face and looked hard into his hooded eyes. For a long moment they panted and stared at one another, asking the unanswered questions and attempting to allow the mind to gratefully catch up to the body. The green plant matter on Totosai's nose was smudged across one cheek. A small glob had been flung into his moustache, looking for all the world like a green booger.

Bringing her lips forward until she could feel her own breath bounce off the point of Totosai's ear, Kaede felt the large male under her shiver like he had been dipped in ice.

"You still taste good." she whispered hotly to her captive demon.

"My nose still itches. Will you scratch it with your boobs?" pleaded the breathless response as the hardness against her belly twitched.

Snorted laughter so close to his ear that it nearly deafened him made Totosai's heart pump molten love through his veins for this both hard and soft girl.

"Please?" he begged.

**Oil**

Leaning closer into the hot skin of the demon below her, Kaede an idea, a very un-miko-like idea, really quite evil if she did say so herself. Yet, unlike her sister Kikyou, she was not someone who took every slight or misspoken word seriously – but this newfound power that she wielded over her very aroused companion struck a bit of a sadistic streak; how much teasing could this Totosai stand before he literally exploded?

Kaede pursed her lips thoughtfully and decided she was in over her head any way; she might as well enjoy it.

She would grant poor Totosai his wish, in abundance!

"Totosai…" she moaned seductively into the pointed ear before her and just to really drive him crazy Kaede licked the soft edge of the demon's flushed and sensitive skin.

"Mmmhmmm?"

"I need your vial of whetstone oil, please. Get it for me?" the miko did her best to purr her request in a sultry voice that brooked no argument. Totosai bent his long neck and rubbed the side of his nose on her shoulder, his hands both being otherwise engaged in holding the round, plush vixen hard into his lap. Warring factions in his slow mind set up barricades and yelled in their favor regarding his next move: Drop the girl and root through his clothes for her requested object or hold onto the girl and pretend he had another itch, this time on his tongue? After a moment's deliberation, a bipartisan compromise was reached and the demon blacksmith made up his mind.

Kaede was looking into Totosai's great green eyes one minute, watching the gears and cogs turn and the next she was looking at the pool's edge where two piles of clothes lie heaped in hurried abandon. Had the demon just picked her up and turned her around on his lap? He was so quick she never even saw it happen! Well, she thought, let's just test our little theory then.

Kaede leaned back against the hot chest behind her, fitted her convex rear into Totosai's concave lap and wiggled up against the large, hardness that was once again trapped against their bodies. The tortured hiss of breath drawn down a fire-breathing throat was most gratifying and Kaede was quite proud of her subjugation of this powerful, if benevolent beast, that was until she felt an iron-strong arm snake around her waist and life her bodily out of the water like she weighed nothing all. It was her turn to catch a shocked breath and the miko could only wind her legs back around Totosai's thighs and her arms back around his strong neck as the demon slowly moved the short distance to where their clothes lay on the rocks.

Once again, Totosai cursed his lack of hands; the girl's large breasts jutted from her bowed, curvy body like the perfection of bubbling lava and dammit-all if he didn't want to fill his hands with her gorgeous soft flesh! Reaching the edge of the water, the tall demon leaned forward and stretched himself towards his goal. He felt the girl let her legs back down to stand and her strong grip around the back of his neck pulled him even further down upon her. Totosai knew he was crushing the miko against the stones and he tried to hurry as best he could while he rooted through his cluttered kimono for the shy vial.

Lifting up on his toes to reach just a little bit further, Totosai was beginning to get nervous; if he made her mad now, he was going to be miserable, mentally and physically.

Taunt body continuing to stretch forward Totosai almost…had… it…

Kaede was getting crushed against the rocks by the big idiot! Why hadn't he just put her down, sought the oil and then brought it back? Why couldn't Totosai do anything at all with any modicum of common sense? Why was she smiling? Damn this demon, he was heavy and the miko decided she couldn't hold him up anymore so she lay forward on the rocky edge so the oaf could take advantage of the easier reach. Which Totosai immediately did by shifting his weight, allowing one very impatient part of his body to slip under the slick curve of her ass and become happily acquainted with a very welcoming part of her own body.

Kaede had never used a dildo, but she had seen one her sister had tried to kept hidden. The first thing that dropped from the tip of her mind was, 'All those wasted years!'

She felt Totosai grab a sharp hold of her hip and slowly, he moved against her again. He growled, she moaned and somewhere, a group of crickets did their best to emulate Barry White. Who knew the insect world was so versatile?

A broken rasping voice whispered from above Kaede, "I think I found it, miko"

The bent girl pressed herself back into the hot body holding her against the stones and squeezing her thighs together around the velvet hammer she felt there, Kaede moaned back through trembling lips,

"I know you have – now don't stop."

**Lips**

"Are you sure about this, girl?"

Reaching a hand down between her wet body and the pool's edge, Kaede let her fingers drift across her own flesh until she found that of her nervous lover. Totosai shivered over her and pumped once against her nimble, trailing fingers with a shuddering groan.

"I thought you didn't like me."

"Totosai – shut up and lean back a little bit."

When the heavy weight of the large demon's body lifted off her back, Kaede turned around to face the very excited and very nervous male before her. Growing up in a single-room hut the miko had at least a third person knowledge of the sex act; could this demon, possibly ages older than her, have even less than that?

She suddenly felt a very strange mix of excitement, tenderness and sheer teenage hormonal lust for the tall, lanky metal smith before her, who appeared to be trying to split his attention between two things at once, neither of which seemed to be her face.

Men…

"Can I have that?", she sweetly asked the preoccupied demon ogling her swaying breasts.

"Oh yeah…" he leered.

"Not that, Totosai – the vial in your right hand.", Kaede countered trying to keep the irritation out of her voice and the sultry smile upon her face.

"Oh – yes, yes of course – sorry. Here."

Taking the proffered small corked jar, the wet miko reached behind her and grabbed the hideous green and black garment closest to the edge and shoved it behind her back as she slide most of the way out of the pool. The demon before her looked dumb-struck and his eyes were everywhere at once upon her body.

Uncorking the vial and popping a fingertip within, Kaede withdrew a small bit of the cloudy essence of whale. Testing the slipperiness against her thumb and satisfied with the results, she then reached her other hand out to her stone-still companion and drew him towards her. Like the principles of yin and yang, the priestess was both gently teaching her newly made lover the small bit of carnal knowledge she possessed and teasing him utterly with it. Gentle nurturing and wicked seduction; it was love and neither knew or cared once Kaede began to softly speak.

"Totosai, look at my finger. Do you see it?"

"I see it."

"Follow it with your eyes."

Kaede started at her left collarbone and ran her oiled digit slowly down to her left breast, circling a very hard tan nipple. Totosai licked his lips and held himself still, his hands planted on her wide, rounded hips.

The slick fingertip ran next over to the right nipple and circled onto tightening flesh. She imagined the feel of her demon lover's tongue and tried to ignore the slight itch the constriction of her tender skin reawakened. She was lucky the ivy was spring-new or this day would have been one hell of a lot worse.

Next stop on her visual tour was a shining trail down to her pit of a navel, where she lazily drew swirls on her shivering cool skin. Totosai's pupils were pin-points of rapt focus which he occasionally punctuated with the massage of flexing fingers.

"Come closer to me, demon.", the panting miko instructed her very willing pupil. Totosai came forward as the girl opened her smooth, pale legs for his examination.

Her slow progress headed south until reaching her sex, Kaede took a moment to shrug off the last of her doubts and dove headfirst into the deep end. Reaching her unoiled hand down and bracing a foot on Totosai's near hip, the horny miko spread the rose-colored lips of her sex and drew a thin slick of oil over her sensitive bud, rolling it with her finger and letting her eyes drift closed with a soft moan.

This was even better with an audience!

"Beautiful."

Her less than beautiful response: "Huh?"

"You are beautiful, Kaede. Have I said that already? Sometimes I tend to repeat myself.", whispered Totosai, his eyes full of her body and his mind full of her love.

"Oh… no, you hadn't." the blushing miko smiled up at the kind, sweet and very hungry face above her own. Remembering herself and her game, Kaede stretched out her hand to the tall male before her and as bidden he took it.

"Now I want you to follow me once again, only now with your own finger."

"I think I have a better idea, lovely miko." Totosai grinned a sloppy grin and leaning down over his girl, took a pointed nipple into his hot mouth.

**Winter Flower**

His moustache tickled her; so did his goatee. But it was a good kind of tickle – no, make that a great kind of tickle. The demon's mouth was almost too warm on her skin for comfort until Kaede remembered how chilly she was getting being out of the warm water. Just her calves and her feet were now submerged, so the slow path of Totosai's hot mouth and Kami help her, his tongue! – made her all warm and tingly, inside and out.

He rinsed the green glops off and devoured her flesh with the happy gusto of every self-professed breast man. It made her feel ridiculous, but when Totosai rested his grinning face upon her breastbone and smothered himself by pushing her tits together Kaede couldn't help but laugh – he looked so ridiculously happy and fulfilled she was pretty sure he could now die a very happy demon, right on the spot – and they hadn't really done anything yet! His contentment was contagious; Kaede found herself stretching out and allowing the exploring, licking, kissing demon to support her in his strong calloused hands. In short, she surrendered – finally.

Totosai had always liked the taste of whale meat, and he had always liked the floral scent of females, but the combination of the two, combined with the musky aroma of immanent sex pouring from the miko's flowered and open core made him want to bury his face in her treasures and never emerge. Let the world declare unending peace and boredom – he was no long forging anything but his own iron in this little ningen's smoldering forge!

Totosai can't help you right now, please leave a message – and have a nice day, because Kami knows he was having the best day ever!

Kneeling his long legs down into the water brought Totosai up close to the girl's most secret place. The organic curves and soft petals of moist flesh reminded him of his favorite winter flower; the reddish full, fleshy spathe that exuded its own very similar heat – so much it even melted the snow around it as it bloomed, its dark mysterious opening beckoning feverish pollination, and its musky fragrance a scent that begged its lovers to come and play. Luckily for Totosai, his mental editor had just come back from a two-hour lunch and dove quickly back to work, saving the oafish demon a very bad time when he was about to stupidly open his mouth in blissed-out ignorance to compare a woman's vagina to a skunk cabbage. The Kami above watching the show figured everyone deserved one good save.

Spreading her further open, Kaede's demon lover placed a sweet kiss to the epicenter of her quaking desire and mouth watering, dove in.

**Ribbon**

Kaede arched her back with a strangled scream and fisting her hands in the wet, dark hair of her lover's head as he brought her to a seizing climax, saw nothing but exploding stars for countless, plastic moments. Lapping up all she had to offer, Totosai slowly brought the world crashing back to the sweating, trembling priestess.

That was the best orgasm of her life and it was her mortal enemy who had given it to her.

When you are young, your morals and values are flexible. Ever after, throughout her long life, Kaede would not be prejudiced against a demon simply because of its species. Had InuYasha known this and been less of a brat, he might have thanked Totosai for more than just a fantastic sword. Oh well.

Slowly floating back to her body, Kaede pulled herself out of the water fully and was about to thank her star pupil when her eye failed to find him where it had last left him. He wasn't in the water. Twisting around, the loosened priestess found the object of her desire busy winding a long white, wide silk ribbon around his hips. She watched with unabashed curiosity as Totosai quickly tied the everyday complexity of his fundoshi.

Narrowing her eye, Kaede wondered why the damn thing looked so tight! Figuring it out the next second made her blush like mad and hitching up her proverbial panties, the grinning miko decided she needed to do something about her lover's little problem… well, certainly not little, she giggled to herself. Pushing herself up to sit, Kaede watched Totosai tie on his green and black hakama with a small amount of bemused confusion; why tie them on when she was just going to rip them off? The barbaric hordes of screaming horny teenage girls in her mind whole-heartedly agreed and began beating swords to shields in anticipation of sexual battle.

Picking up his parti-colored kimono, Totosai turned back to his little naked water sprite and extended a long-fingered hand. Taking it, Kaede was hauled to her feet and found the demon's large shirt draped over her shoulders. She must have looked confused; hell, she was confused! How come they weren't getting it on like a herd of horny mink?

Totosai whistled for his trusty steed, who began to happily amble their way and taking Kaede by the arms, knelt down to look into her dark, deep sepia eye.

"Kaede, please don't hit me."

"What?!"

"This river is a nice enough place but I can think of a nicer one and it's just a short ride away…", Totosai's low, self-effacing rasp wheedled as he slowly pulled each of her soft arms through the long sleeves of his kimono.

"What…?"

Once he had her arms through the sleeves, the kneeling demon snaked his own arms around her back and laid his cheek on her downy round stomach. As much as he hated to deny himself what he suspected was going to be the best thing he'd ever experienced in his long life another second, Totosai didn't want to remember this wonderful experience by bruised knees, scraped backs and the potential for oni attacks. He wanted to be able to show this girl and allow her to show him… he wasn't quite sure how to explain it, even to himself, but he knew he didn't want to rut the girl on the cold, wet rocks.

"Wanna go somewhere else and have some more fun?" he smiled against her cooling flesh.

"I'm not getting back on that animal. You can just forget it, Totosai."

Slipping one of his long-fingered hands forward, the canny smith brushed his mistress's sensitive bud with a rough, warm thumb, causing her to buck her hips in his face.

"How soon can we get there?", Kaede moaned hungrily.

**Upside-Down**

The once-roadside shrine appeared completely forsaken. Even the road appeared to be melting back into the fallow land. Grass grew high in the berm and the newest cart track looked at least a few season's old. No one passed by here anymore and so no one maintained the shrine. Kaede bristled in momentary professional irritation; what shrine keeper could live with the shame of allowing this place to fall back into dust? Sliding off MoMo in an awkward, ass-baring move that any other time would have earned any watcher the wrath of the Miko no Edo, Kaede cinched the kimono's tie tighter around her body and made her way towards the dilapidated shrine.

Sending MoMo off to do his perpetual grazing, Totosai wondered if the girl could read the very ancient script around the threshold of the shrine's main door – well, truthfully, its only door. The place was small, offering only a space to rest, a hearth at which to cook one's meal and the patron Kami's devotional space. No one came here since the newest daimyo had moved the road's course many ri to the west to better suit his strategies. That was fine with Totosai – the way the place was now suited his strategies perfectly.

Chimata-no-kami had once walked this same road before recorded time and his energy remained a part of the very land. Kaede didn't know this – she had let her mind wander during her studies when the ancient and primordial Kami were discussed. Who worshipped them any more? What power was there to be had in the empty crossroads of the world? Keh – she just wanted to know more about herbs and practical wisdom. Leave the mysticism to the Buddhists! Sliding the dusty shoji back on its worn track, the young miko glanced within. This temple had been empty for longer than she had been alive! The floors, the walls, even the deity appeared washed-out and dusty.

But it did have one thing going for it – it was very private. That made it perfect.

Warm late afternoon sun filtered through the small windows, illuminating the dust that swirled in her wake. Tiny motes filled her vision as the events of the day caught up with the girl very quickly. No amount of fire can do what the late-afternoon sun can in a closed room – and so, languid with lingering afterglow and the closed-in warmth of the ancient shrine. Kaede lay down, put her head on her arm, closed her eye and fell asleep before Totosai even wandered in after her.

Totosai smiled at the sleeping miko and bent down to kiss her sweet, sleep-slack face-

-Which promptly got him slapped in unconscious irritation by the dreaming girl. Rubbing his sore chin, the demon metal smith looked around the spare room. The girl really must be worn out; he couldn't believe she missed the multitude of phalluses scattered throughout the ancient carvings. Oh well – he'd be sure to point them out to her later; they were impressive. Totosai was always, at his heart, a lover of swords – even those of the flesh. Speaking of which…

He glanced back at the softly snoring girl on the bare wood floor and grinned. Let her sleep; she was going to need it. Looking through the various nooks and crannies, Totosai hunted for anything useful.

~*~

Kaede blinked her eye and yawned as she slowly swam back up to consciousness. How long had she slept? Was it dark in here or was it just her? Why was Totosai upside-down?

Yawning again the miko let her mind catch up.

"Are we awake?" Totosai grinned down at his sleepy miko.

"That depends. Is this real?"

"Sure is."

"Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled. Where are we?", Kaede yawned a third time and pushed herself to sit up, righting the world once again.

Crickets chirped in the distance, aiming for a slick, soft interpretation of Miles Davis' tonal jazz. It takes all kinds you know – some crickets are just more hip than others; can you dig it? Moving on-

"A very deserted, very private place; do you like it?" Totosai looked around him in emphasis and then waggled his goofy eyebrows suggestively for good measure.

"What I'd like is a cup of tea; I suppose that's a dream too." Kaede was not a morning person and that applied to any time she awoke from sleep. Totosai's smile split his sweet, silly face and soon the querulous miko was handed a crooked cup full of what appeared to be green tea. Tasting it, she revised her opinion of the stuff to say that it resembled tea, but thirsty, she drank it anyway.

Scanning the fire-lit space around her, Kaede noticed a couple of amorphous, ill-tempered blobs at the edge of the fire's light. The hearth let off just enough light for it to not be pitch black and not enough to do anyone but cats any good to see by.

"Totosai, where did you find blankets and tea and cups and a kettle? I know where you got the fire – but what about all this other stuff?" she scratched the eyebrow over her empty socket in sleepy disbelief.

"Oh, that was easy. Various youkai use this place as a rest stop on their travels. There are always supplies if you know where to look. I just shook the blankets out, singed off the spiders and things are fine. The tea's a little old though.", the cross-legged demon mused, pulling on one of his long moustaches.

Ugh – spiders.

"How old is old, Totosai?"

"Only about 75 years.", he replied nonchalantly.

No wonder; Kaede revised her opinion of the tea yet again to now state that it was the fossilized remains of tea. Her stomach wasn't complaining, so she nodded when Totosai waved the kettle at her in silent question.

They sat in companionable silence for a while until Totosai unwound his tall form from the floor and went out for more firewood.

When he returned, he found the cyclopean miko had dragged their night's bedding close to the hearth and was inspecting it rather thoroughly.

Arranging the deadfall just so in the hearth and dribbling a short thin line of flame into the coals, Totosai banked the fire for the night, and once satisfied with his work, scooted to the nearest pile of miko certified spider-free blankets and lay his long body down upon it.

Kaede gave up on the spider hunt and sat herself down upon the old fabric. Her eye started out staring at the hearth and it's wavering red coals, but kept creeping its way over the lounging half-naked and muscular form to her left. At least he remembered to stay out of her blind spot, the big idiot. Totosai seemed to feel her eye upon him and turned his long face towards her scrutiny.

The demon smith's face blazed with outright love – selfless, weirdly innocent and extremely profane – all at the same time. Kaede couldn't help herself; she smiled.

The demon smiled back.

She licked her lips suggestively.

His brows crawled up into his dark hair as a nervous leer bloomed across his fanged mouth. He opened his long arms wide to her and Kaede happily fell into them.

**Trace**

Totosai lay on his back, straddled by his miko as she slowly traced the lines of his black smith's muscled chest. The girl appeared to be trying to memorize his body's lines by touch and the demon had to admit, it was really turning him on. Her small hands roamed slowly over his flesh and left little trails of fire in their wake. When her warm, soft fingers ghosted over one of his flat nipples, Totosai groaned and nearly lifted her off of him as he arched his strong back in acute pleasure.

"Like that, do you?" the girl smirked down at him and did it again.

"Kami, yes!"

Her open ringing laughter shook her shining brown hair around her face. Totosai thought she was so beautiful and said so.

"You said that already."

"I did? You know, I do sometimes repeat myself.", he explained with a self-effacing smile.

"I know, my Totosai. I know."

Hearing her admit she loved him, the demon Totosai grabbed Kaede's face, leaned up with otherworldly strength and kissed the one-eyed priestess with all the passion he could muster – which was to say, a lot.

The crickets outside the shrine were building a slow Coltrane smolder, sans sax. They knew they were breaking new ground and were playing it super-cool.

When Totosai let her go and lay back again, his breath was coming fast at a pant.

Running his hands up the miko's soft legs, he grabbed two handfuls of her luscious round ass and ground his hardness into her. Knowing his hakama were the only thing separating their bodies, Kaede slowly leaned down and kissed her demon lover's broad heaving chest, leaned back up, carefully scooted down his trembling body just a bit and began to loosen the green and black ties on either side of his hips.

When she had them completely undone, Kaede pulled back the tight fabric and gazed in blatant curiosity at the long, hard mystery of Totosai's sex. The miko appeared transfixed, so much so that she was making the demon under her very nervous – what if he was somehow ill-made or Kami-forbid, too small? His large green eyes met her singular brown and pleaded with all their might for her mercy. She was going to break his heart, he just knew it!

Kaede had seen enough of a variety of male bodies either professionally or in her family's day-to-day life, but she had never seen anything like the male before her eye. He was perfect and he was petrified. Remembering the paradise of their earlier play, Kaede licked her lips. Shimmying further down her demon lover's strong body, she took Totosai in her small hand and swallowed him whole. The demon beneath her cried out in absolute ecstasy and nearly came on the spot.

Both the Kami of the shrine and his servants, the crickets, were very pleased.

**Leverage**

When the demon below her shot hard into her mouth, Kaede was surprised; she'd always heard from the village women that a man's seed was nasty tasting. She didn't think it was nasty at all: salty and musky and maybe just a smallest hint of smoky, but not nasty. The way Totosai was acting, the miko figured she was a born master of this particular skill and the thought of being a blow-job queen by night and a miko by day made her laugh like an idiot, that was until a pair of hot, strong hands pulled her forward and ground a very slick, rapidly hardening length along her spread-open sex. Laughter turned into mewling moans as Totosai's long cock did the slip and slide against her sensitive bud.

The miko was still covered up by his kimono and that was about to end. Totosai let her arms go long enough to pull on the ties holding the garment closed and run his hands within to push the fabric down her tender arms. The warm yellow fire-light lit her skin like dim honey and the demon arched his hips off the floor and struggled to free himself from his own clothes. Once free, he lay back and pushing the girl to lay down upon his wide chest, Totosai again ground Kaede against his hard desire.

"Kaede, will you let me in?" he whispered in her ear, petrified of her answer, either way.

Levering herself up on her hands, Kaede looked down at the demon who had devoured her heart. She felt so very lucky and it was past time.

"If you love me Totosai, then love me." She whispered back and kissed her lover with more passion then the Kami of the shrine had seen in many, many years – not since the Great Dog General had taken his mistress here, centuries ago. It was good to be back in business, so to speak.

"Hai, my love– I will." He breathed back to her and took firm hold of himself as the miko eased herself slowly down upon his slick length, happily ridding them both of lonely virginity.

Kaede finally managed to fit all of him within her and couldn't believe the feeling of fullness, of belonging, of finally coming home that this one act seemed to unleash within her. She knew she could stay this way forever… that was until she moved a little and they both cried out in pleasure. From then on, all bets were off.

Sweat began to shine over their writhing bodies as the demon beneath thrust hard into the miko above, who pushed down upon her lover with equal force. The spring of rising pleasure coiled slowly tighter and tighter within the balls of one and the belly of the other. Time stretched and flexed.

Rising up suddenly, Totosai tumbled the bouncing girl in his lap onto her back, got his legs under himself and one strong arm bracing her back, began to lever himself up onto his long feet.

"Hang on to me, beauty.", he grinned through his sweaty, tangled locks.

Kaede wound her legs around his narrow hips and trusted the immense strength of the blacksmith to keep her from harm. The change in position caused his cock to hit new and interesting places within her, and as he slowly moved towards the Kami's altar, the pinioned miko moaned and pleaded for more.

Totosai intended on giving her everything he had but he needed some leverage by which to do it. Backing the girl onto the very edge of the conveniently positioned altar, Totosai took a moment to kiss and lick and tease his girl before heading around the bases for home. Tongues tangled, lips nipping skin wherever they could reach, rough fingertips on hard clit, small white hands full of tight male ass, the two Kami-chosen lovers began again a slow deep rhythm, the hum and vibration of which reflected perfectly the engines of the land, the world, and the universe.

**Droplets**

"Reach you hands above you and hang on, my miko.", the demon rasped into the wet skin of his girl's neck as she clung to him, skin slapping skin.

Reaching blindly back for any suitable handhold, the ecstatic miko, jolted by her demon lover's strong deep thrusts, grasped two thick wooden handles and held on for her life.

Tilting her hips forward, Totosai tried to touch her soul, going as deep within his love as he could. Watching his delectable little miko, her heavy breasts bounce in rhythm as he pounded into her, the nearly delirious demon felt an oncoming yet unseen peak, one he was quickly racing towards. It was the same tightness in his spine and in his balls that had wound up tight and then shattered apart as he had filled his miko's hot little mouth with his seed.

Totosai wanted his girl, his love to come with him. He'd seen what she could do and the thought of her spasming body around his own made him even harder, if he could even believe it! Reaching into the wet dark curls that tangled with his own, the demon felt for the miko's most sensitive nub, one he knew from recent experience could be persuaded with a good massage to make the miko scream his name to the heavens.

Kaede was so very close to the point of no return that when she felt Totosai's urgent thumb stroking her clit, she pushed herself hard into his speeding fuck and locked her flexing legs around his sweaty back. She could feel droplets of sweat drip out of her hair to run down her back. The mix of their body's intimate wetness ran down Totosai's strong thighs. The Kami, upon whose altar they unknowingly worshipped, loved every bit of it.

Unable to stand the excruciating intensity of pleasure as it built within her belly, Kaede screamed out her lover's name and clamped down hard upon him with a ferocity that was almost painful. Totosai's mind went up in flames as the girl's writhing body milked him dry for unknown eons, minutes, seconds. Flames roiled behind his green eyes and the sweet, goofy demon metal smith howled out his completion like the beast he was and then collapsed against the heaving woman beneath him, trembling with the occasional aftershock.

**Sensitive**

He was so sensitive that when the girl suddenly sneezed he came again. Noticing the heavy cloud of dust their quite heroic coupling had kicked up, Totosai helped his love release her cramping grip on the two large wooden phalluses she'd chosen to hang onto. He absentmindedly wondered if that was what they were really for, not just abstract devotion like the mystics all claimed.

"Kaede – are you okay?" he whispered to the limp girl before him. Her one eye was closed and she was visibly trying to slow her breathing.

Winding her hands behind his strong neck, the demon metal smith picked up his exhausted miko and walked her back to the hearth. Using the leftover warmish water he'd once boiled for tea – ages ago, it seemed – Totosai used a corner of his long silk fundoshi cloth to clean the very small amount of blood and the large amount of his spend off of her soft, plush body. Kaede was putty, allowing herself to be moved and positioned however her demon lover needed her to be in order to make her clean. Once she was bathed and Totosai had given himself the same treatment, he realized how very lucky a demon he was. Here he had bedded a miko, his sworn enemy, and fallen madly in love with the prickly girl to boot and nothing bad had happened! He couldn't believe it!

Lying down next to the quickly drifting miko as she fell into contented sleep, Totosai wondered how far he could push his luck. Grinning like the divine fool he was, the drowsy demon rolled the girl gently onto her back and leaning forward, put his face in her boobs and shook it back and forth, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of the fleshy globes hitting his joyous face – really, just motor-boating the hell out her.

This was demon heaven.

Even when he felt a small hand slap him hard on the ass, he was still sure this was heaven.

"I love you, Kaede." He spoke softly into her chest with all the feeling he could muster.

"You are an idiot Totosai, my love." She shot back in sleep-fuzzy irritation and rolled sleepily into him.

_Did they live happily ever after? I don't know. Only the Kami know and they're not telling. The crickets know too, but you know how musicians are…  
_


End file.
